To my GUY BESTFRIEND, before

Dear (Former Guy Bestfriend),

Hey! Yes I know we haven’t heard from each other for God knows how long. I have no idea how are you since that day. Honestly, I do miss you a lot. And I am hoping again that one day we get a chance to talk about that.

I admit I do hate you until now because you left me because of her. I was your bestfriend back then and you were my guy bestfriend whom I know I can lean on everytime. But what happen? You left me no choice, you chose her over me, you chose the 3 months relationship over 5 years of friendship. And then suddenly it happened.

After you left me, no communication at all no ‘hi and hello’ I just realized that for 4 months I can’t focus in everything. Its like I am in trauma (because of my guy bestfriend) and there were bad things that happened to me after that. I got scared to mingle with other people and have connection with them. I easily cut friendship when I knew that I am getting close to it. I started putting passcodes on my phone and only limited people can use my phone, because I am afraid again to trust people the way I trusted you. I don’t usually go out instead I stay at home — sleeping. All I can say is that life is hard for me without you.

Until now nobody knows this stuff even my family and now because I just realized that life goes on even without you, I decided to share this to everyone. They don’t need to know your name. And they really don’t need to know you.

I hated myself for losing a guy bestfriend, I hated myself that I knew you can smile even without me while I can’t. I know I WAS your bestfriend, the one you can lean on everytime you’re in need. But, How can you turn your back on me?

I realized that people come and go. I know that God must’ve given you to me because He knew that you have a purpose on me. Maybe to become a better person. And after my realizations, I decided to fix myself, fix everything on me because my bestfriend is no longer there to do so. And I started to think that it is for the BEST, after all. And now I can say that I freed myself from hating you and to me also. And it feels good tho.

I am no longer the girl who was afraid to trust other people again. I do value friendship now. I love to mingle with others and have connections with them. Still I have my passcodes on phone but all the people I trust knows it.

Whenever I heard your name, I always smile because we both know that you brought good things in my life. You help me to become the better person I am right now. I’ll always be grateful for the friendship we’ve shared. Remember that you’ll always have a special spot in my heart.

Be happy always and see you when God’s perfect time came.

Love, Katrin


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