It’s not a good feeling at all when you feel hurt. And I think all agrees. When we go through bad times, our brain can become over-sensitive to feeling hurt or the possibility that you could get hurt and triggers at small things, protecting you from a situation happening to avoid you from feeling like total shit. For me, the biggest one I deal with is people treat me like I’m worthless and I’m easily replaceable since I’ve been treat like that in the past by people who meant a lot to me.
Well, this insecurity is with me all the time. It mainly pops up when I feel like I’m getting closer to someone. To be honest with you guys outside my family, I only trust few people eventhough they are attached to me. I don’t know but that’s the truth. Ang hirap sa feeling ko yung magtiwala nalang basta. I do trust some other people, but it takes time for me to build it completely with someone. I’ve had “best friends” with years of friendship then forget me for something that wasn’t my fault and lie how they are not going to push me away. I’ve had this happen over and over again so it’s sad to say I’m used to it.
To tell you the truth I’m still in the process of gaining my confidence and developed self worth. And I believe that people who treat you like that aren’t worth your time and effort and that it’s a reflection of them. But, even with good things happening, it does not prevent me from feeling hurt when people treat me poorly. There’s still a part of me that believes I am worthless and I am easily replaceable so I do struggle a little when it comes to getting closer to people.
But hey, what I’m trying to share with you guys is that it is normal and healthy to feel hurt it will not change.(It’s okay to feel hurt.) I know how it feels when you want to avoid things that could lead to the possibility of getting hurt but you can’t hide away in a corner, afraid to live life because of how people who are now irrelevant to your life have treat you. Yes some people who you thought you could trust have sometimes turned out not. But I want to say that hindi naman lahat ganun. Still there are people around you that you can fully trust. Some people are honest, genuine people who have a heart of gold. There are people in this world who wouldn’t want to intentionally hurt you and definitely wouldn’t want to treat you like you are worthless.
I wrote this for almost 5 months and finally I can post na. Hahaha. Well hopefully, in the near future I could also write how to overcome this base on my experience. Remember I’m still in the process of gaining it. How I think about myself and not let people make me believe I am worthless, easily replaceable and not good enough when they treat me like nothing or do something that makes me believe it about myself.
Everyone has their insecurities; everyone has been through hard times. All we can do is deal with it and try to improve.